Getting your Proxy document in place helps you retain control over your own medical and life outcomes. Like we often say, "It's never too soon until it's too late."
You may be very familiar with this term, or not at all, or somewhere in between. Is this like Power of Attorney? Is this the same person as the executor of my will? Is it automatically my spouse and children? Let's clarify what a Health Care Proxy document is, what power it grants, how it's used, and why it's essential.
Who is my Health Care Proxy?
The Health Care Proxy, or Proxy, is an election by YOU, of someone who will have the ability to discuss your medical condition with your treatment team. You will appoint one Agent and one Alternate Agent to act on your behalf. These are individuals of your choosing who have accepted this responsibility.
You are asking someone to take on a serious and potentially stressful position of advocacy for you. Choosing your Proxy Agents should be a thoughtful decision. Some questions to consider:
Many elders tell me that "all my children" are my Health Care Proxies. Legally, this means that NONE of the children is the Proxy. It is not a group effort or a committee. Certainly, one would hope that in the face of a serious medical situation, that family would work as a team, and everyone's input would be welcome. When this works, it's an ideal situation. If full agreement is not the case, then the Proxy has ultimate decision-making power regarding the level and details of medical intervention.
What can my Proxy do?
Your Agent will direct what is (and what is NOT) to be done per your wishes in the event you are not able to fully participate in these decisions. It is not the job of the Health Care Proxy to superimpose their own agenda on your medical treatment plan. Their job is to have a thorough working knowledge of what your choices are in a variety of medical scenarios.
How will my Proxy know what my wishes are?
Part of choosing your Proxy involves having meaningful conversations with your "inner circle." How else will they know what your wishes are in the event of a life-limiting or emergency medical diagnosis? Navigating these delicate conversations is not easy. For families who don't usually communicate so directly about sensitive topics, it can be very stressful.
There are worksheets available that help ask the tough questions and ease us into the conversation that is hard to initiate. The Health Care Proxy document itself is a "task," but it does invite meaningful dialogue. By completing this together, your Agent and Alternate Agent understand what level of medical intervention or life support you may (or may not) want in certain situations.
When is the Proxy invoked?
Unlike its cousin, the Durable Power of Attorney, the Health Care Proxy document is not "in effect" until a physician determines that you are unable to make your own medical decisions. At that time, the document is "invoked," making it active and legally binding.
Where can I get the Health Care Proxy document?
Many families report that they made Proxy selections as part of their overall Estate Plan drawn up by their attorney. Inside of those documents is often one called "Advance Directive." The Advance Directive contains specific wishes regarding level of life support and desires regarding medical intervention and life-saving treatment. This document is useful when returning to the individual's baseline of health is unlikely, and quality of life no longer meets their expectations.
Most of the time, these documents are kept with their attorney, and the individual may have a copy in a Safe Deposit Box or other secure location. However, it may not be easily accessible in an emergency.
The Mass. Dept. of Public Health has a one-page Health Care Proxy document that can be downloaded and printed from mass.gov. This document is what's most often requested by hospitals and treating health care professionals, and simply appoints the Proxy. It does not contain the long list, including Advance Directive or Living Will.
In today's health care networks, this is considered a standard and essential document.
We all, regardless of age, should have these choices, conversations, and document in place. Without a Proxy in place, your medical decisions could be made by someone who has never met you before, left up to the treatment team, or even Guardian ad litem. Getting your Proxy document in place helps you retain control over your own medical and life outcomes. Like we often say, "It's never too soon until it's too late."
