Managing Stuff
Stuff is a funny thing.
On the one hand it makes us who we are, right? I mean, we are living people and accumulating a certain amount of things is just built in our existence. We have a set of basic human needs like shelter and comfort, and we need tools to help us accomplish those things like appliances and computers. But we’re also sentimental and perhaps a little bit vain -- we like to collect our treasures. All totally normal. But there comes a point where you don’t own the stuff anymore because that stuff owns you.
Last weekend I traveled to Pittsburgh to clean out my father’s house. He passed a while ago, but his wife recently died so my sister and I traveled out to take care of his belongings. The house was packed. Head to toe, top to bottom. Not quite a hoarder’s house, but pretty darn close. You know how they talk about a spirit leaving the body and suddenly it’s revealed that the body is just a vessel for the spirit? Well, it felt a lot like that in Pittsburgh.
Because all these belongings (the unopened delivery boxes, the trash, the paperwork, even the unclaimed photo albums) just felt hollow and sad. I think especially so because the occupant clearly felt so strongly about collecting all those things. She sure sacrificed a lot to accumulate them. It was like she was looking for something, but I didn’t get the feeling that she ever found it. We were surrounded by her treasures, and yet for us, It was just an overwhelming pile of junk.
We stayed in a bleak little Airbnb, and at night we walked by a house that had all these cheerful hot-air Halloween figures bouncing around on the front lawn. “How cute!” we remarked. But in the morning light, with their blow machines turned off, they were just a pile of dead soldiers. A flattened Halloween-Snoopy splayed next to a crumpled Halloween-Tyrannosaurus, a Halloween-Yoda by his side. Perspective is a powerful thing.
So here we are with another holiday season barreling down upon us, and me with stuff on my mind. I remember Christmas when my kids were young. I’d wrap up the silliest stuff just because watching them rip off the wrapping paper brought me joy. But a few days after Christmas I would be deep into stuff-management. I mean where does it all go? It was a holiday hang over. I actually had a bin in the basement that I called purgatory. I’d sneak their old toys down there to make room for the new, and if they weren’t missed in a few months, out they went.
One of my clients just bought the family home, so she’s knee deep in the process of emptying that house to renovate it. I have another client moving into their brand-new house and they’re deep in the throes of procurement. It’s a natural cycle that I witness every day. But try looking at your attic or your basement with a fresh perspective. If you look around and it feels a little bit like… well Pittsburgh, then you need to take some action. Honestly, you’ll rest easier at night if you do.
I suggest you play this game I made up called Pretend We Are Moving. It forces you into making some brutal decisions. No, I’m NOT keeping all those extra towels for the next carwash fundraiser. No, I’m NOT going to guilt my kids into taking that “perfectly good” used furniture. And, no, I’m NOT keeping the remains of the cardigan I started knitting back in the 90’s for my then-husband. It’s tough but it gets easier as you go. Remember, all the junk in life can be divided into four piles: save, trash, donate, and not sure. So, get sorting.
I have a friend who is a professional organizer and she’s got a method I like. She uses clear plastic tubs, all the same size, that she gets from a big box store. That way if you run out (which you will) you can go back and get more. Tubs that are the same size stack beautifully. And if they’re clear you can get a glimpse of what’s inside without opening them. Organize your stuff by category -- so don’t freak out if some of your tubs are half full. It’s ok. It’s better to keep them organized with some room to grow anyway. Label the short sides, stack them up, and then give yourself a high five because that was some good work.
It’s not easy, keeping the upper hand on what seems to be a super-human force that drags us toward excessive accumulation. But it’s a battle worth fighting. If you don’t believe me, I’ll set you up with a visit to Pittsburgh.
