This is their family heirloom. Cropped shot of a senior woman giving her daughter a pearl necklace.
That’s always the line from the sappy movie where one of the leads gets a terminal illness. For those of us of an age… remember Love Story?
Are my affairs the never-ending handyperson list of things needed around the house? Personally, it’s the endless piles of paper…the mail…the dreaded mail. I prefer catalogs of stuff I will likely not buy unless they go on sale (they always do), which is another article. No, we’re not talking about the mail or drafty window that needs fixing.
My affairs encompass everything from assets (real estate, bank accounts, investments, and retirement accounts) to the necessary Health Care Proxy and Powers of Attorney to trusts, wills, and ownership designation. Who gets what?
As I go through my affairs again, hopefully for the last time, it’s fresh on my mind. I counsel people all the time who have no clue. “No clue” translates to “what could go wrong without this planning.” The answer is easy: everything.
When considering your affairs, start there. Whose hands are you putting your very life in? Are you happy with your Primary Health Care Provider? If they have not been responsive to you in the little things, how will they be when the big bad situations arise? If a change needs to be made, don’t wait. Do it today.
Next, we consider who will be our voice. Who will communicate our wishes and speak for us if we cannot? And by speak, I mean both literally and figuratively. If you have not had any severe recent healthcare needs, you may be unaware of the power of advocacy. It’s big. Really, really big.
You are empowered to choose your Health Care Agent and an alternate. These people are authorized to make medical decisions for you if you are unable. Other than your spouse or career, this is perhaps your next most important decision. Make it carefully. Communicate what you want clearly and ensure that your Agent is comfortable in this role.
This isn’t my wheelhouse, but I deal with it routinely enough to give you the basics. Power of Attorney allows my signature to become your signature. You can transact most legal documents and manage money. This is another big decision. Choose carefully.
It’s important to understand that Power of Attorney ends at death. It would help if you had or scheduled a meeting with an Estate Planning Attorney. If you have no idea where to begin, talk to your friends or reach out to the Essex County Estate Planning Council (ECEPC) at ecepcouncil@gmail.com. I was a board member of the ECEPC for several years and met many wonderful and skilled attorneys there.
Legacy is a powerful word. Is passing on family heirlooms important? I suggest that the item's story is as important as the item itself. It’s what gives it meaning. Take the time to decide who gets what, why, and that they know the story. Soon enough, it will be their time to pass it on.
It’s your last hurrah, so make sure you get it “your way.” Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce, wake or no wake, “Picnic Lunch” or not as my family used to call the collation. We have many life choices, and sometimes, we just let things happen. Here you have a chance to “do it your way.”
I am confident you will breathe a little deeper once you put these plans in place. Phew, that’s done. Now, back to living a full and authentic life. Go for it.
