Things move more slowly in August. I watch as the vacation weeks roll through the workforce in my industry, and even the plants seem to be taking a break in this drought.
On my end, I find it harder to hustle-about at the same somewhat manic pace that I do at other times of the year. And it’s good for me. I’m actually not less productive, just on less of a high alert. It’s a mode that sneaks up on me, and I don’t even know I’m doing it until I slow down a little. August is a good reminder to do that. That less can be more. That sometimes just making the space for a new perspective, is all we need. Because the new perspective might actually be out there waiting for us, it’s just waiting to be invited in.
I have two clients that I worked with for a while last winter. This couple is purchasing the house that the woman grew up in, and it has good bones but needs to be updated from top to bottom.
That sounds simple enough, but like every other major project, there ends up being lots of moving parts. This new home needs to accommodate not only their young family, but also her aging mother who is experiencing some health issues. And when my client looked ahead, she saw there was a potential need to accommodate her father and siblings as well—even if just for short stints. She was taking over the family home, and she felt that came with a responsibility. I was touched by that, and I wanted to help.
But the project snowballed—which is not unusual when working on an older home with lots of deferred maintenance. Some big-ticket items reared their heads like HVAC, electrical work, carpenter ants, and a septic system that might be failing. And the smaller ticket items (can we even call them that?) started to add up too. Toss into the mix two working parents, two young kids, COVID outbreaks, other health issues, and the daunting task of needing to empty that family house to make way for the renovations. Renovations that they were increasingly doubtful they could afford. It was all just too much, and that very nice family reached a tipping point and called to say they were putting the project on hold.
I recognized this as the right decision at the time, but I still struggled with it a bit. Because, selfishly, I like my projects to move along on a linear path: meet new client, plan new project, construct new project, see family enjoying new project, and finally, me basking in the glow of a job well done.
But honestly, very few major goals in life plod along that way. My clients were wise to get off that freight train that was barreling down a twisty path towards something that they hadn’t properly figured out yet. And yes, they oh so nicely asked me to get off that train too, and looking back I’m grateful to them for it. My job is to give them what they want, and if that goal is unclear, I can’t possibly do my job well.
Pauses can come along at all different stages of a project. I have another client that is also pausing as they consult with an architect about their elevator. Pauses can happen while waiting for permits, or inspections, or land surveys, or conservation committee approvals. They are frequently groaned about. (Turns out it’s not just me that craves a linear path.) But sometimes what we may initially perceive as an obstacle can actually offer us the space we need to see something in a new way.
My clients got back in touch with me in early summer, and I could sense their clarity of thinking and fresh perspective right away. She and her husband were able to prioritize what they needed, and they were also ready to let some things go, which they just couldn’t do before. We came up with solutions that just felt right.
And that’s such an important slice of the pie. If your budget is limited, you really need to have the conviction that you are making the right decisions. And figuring that out may just take a little time.
So, what did my clients end up compromising on? Well, there’s a giant chimney going through three floors that they chose to live with. We also simplified their kitchen, the mudroom, the basement and we didn’t add a portico to the exterior that would have looked really nice. But they dug deep to afford a lot of great features. They wanted this house to be both a wise investment and a forever home. So, no flimsy materials or laminate counter tops or vinyl flooring. And yes, to replacement windows, a good HVAC system, and a gaggle of home maintenance issues that the house was crying out for. They kept their upstairs laundry, a large shower for their primary bath, and a basement that will be finished in a very simple manner to offer them flexibility down the road.
Life is filled with unexpected pauses that are so easy to dismiss as unfortunate events. Like taking time off from college to earn money to pay for it. Or spending several weeks on the couch because of a torn ACL. Or nursing a parent back to health. Or the pause that comes with the brand-new baby in your arms, when you look down and know your life will never be quite be the same.
For me, those were all turning points that I wouldn’t change a thing about. My joke used to be, “Ok God, you now have my full attention. I’m really listening.” And hopefully I’m better at listening now. My knees would certainly appreciate it.
My clients, with the family abode? Well, we’ll all have to stay tuned for the end of that story. Projects like these take a while. And that’s ok because pauses are good, right? Right! I just may need a gentle reminder of that when September rolls around, but for now… I’m really listening.
Jen Coles is a professional home designer and mother of four who lives in Manchester. Colescoloranddesign.com
