Attention Youth Coaches: What You Do Matters

To the Editor,

I’d like to share this letter to youth sports coaches. …

Dear Coaches,

What you do matters.

I’m likely to be correct if at some point in your life you’ve heard (or said) the phrase, “kids these days!”

There are exceptions to this expression of exasperation—your own kids, for example—but for the most part, kids these days aren’t how they are by any fault of their own.  Our adopted societal norms with regard to parenting and being a kid, on top of the most mind-consuming (and expanding) digital influence ever, have altered the course of these kids' lives.  And yeah, I say “kids these days” don’t shoulder the blame for that (if it needs shouldering).  Kids these days are exactly what they should be given the age they are and the world they live in.  You don’t have to like it, but if you’re a proponent of days gone by when kids had a bit more attention to lend, emotion to give, desire to wear pants to school that don’t look like pajamas, grit to rely on, etc., read on.  You’re my audience.

I think of youth sports somewhat as one of the last bastions of the way life was “back in the day,” like when

we were kids and the world was perfect in all manners.  Today's kids thrive for an introduction to concepts like team, dignity, effort, sweat, accomplishment, fun, social interaction, risk-taking, etc., which will develop their character and endurance for life.  Any review of available (and recent) data indicates that kids are not getting enough of these introductions outside of the doors of youth sports.  Your players come to you to address and conquer their shortcomings, fears, anxieties, doubts, shame, and failures; and your training for the job is essentially filling out a form, summoning the care we afford to lend, and giving the time it takes to lend it.  Your job is to turn all of those negative notions into their opposite positives.  You succeed when you teach your players to recognize their accomplishments, take on their fears, work through their anxieties, overcome doubts, extinguish shame, be good teammates, recognize accomplishment, and learn from failure.  Going 14 and 0 at age 11 is meaningless against these aspects of what you have so nobly stepped up for.

It is likely that whatever sport you coach, you love.  But more than that, if you reflect on your love for that sport and put the ball/puck/whatever that thing is called that they play badminton with aside, you’ll find that the sport you loved had a positive role in developing the needed character that brought you to coaching.  You have a healthier perspective on risk, failure, success, winning, losing, friendship, team, accomplishment, and so many other aspects of a good life that would be diminished had you chosen to sit out of youth sportsyears ago.  You went through this yourself.  You came out the other side with more self-esteem, confidence, and grit.  Pass that along.  Be the coach you know you can be, and make a difference in the lives of yourplayers.  It’s meaningful, it’s necessary, it’s appreciated, and it takes a few kids off of the “kids these days!” list.

Thank you for doing what you do!

Tod Johnson (“Coach Tod”)

Manchester