Mortality. A foregone conclusion.
We mere mortals, from the Latin word “mortalis,” meaning “of life or living, ending in death.” Hmmm. If the oldest person living on the planet is 117 years old, even if we get to 90, we know what happens eventually. Why don’t we focus on what happens between now and then?
Indeed, we often cannot control our circumstances; however, there is much that we can control. Take a page from the insightful book and film Being Mortal by Dr. Atul Gawande, the renowned surgeon from Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston. Careful consideration of our medical options when faced with any diagnosis requiring treatment, is possible, advisable, and frankly, necessary.
Interviewed by Judy Woodruff of PBS NewsHour, Gawande says, “We need to get the right care, at the right time, in the right way.” That’s a tall order, but of course, it is the goal. It’s what most patients expect is happening all the time anyway…but is it?
Dr. Gawande is not so sure.
In his training and surgical practice, he shares how unprepared he was for the “bad news” conversations. Not only the conversations themselves, but how to cope as a physician, a surgeon, and a healer. Being honest, with extreme sensitivity, to his patients and their families, clinging to every hope, every chance, even a “miracle,” is what
motivated him to explore this in Being Mortal, and inspired the PBS’s FRONTLINE Documentary.
Gawande introduces us to the notion of choices regarding terminal care. Having the tough conversations about desired treatment before a medical crisis demonstrates wisdom and preparedness. Getting honest diagnostic medical information from your health care team, knowing your options, and being able to have family conversations to decide on courses of treatment…all works on paper. However, a highly emotionally charged environment changes almost everything.
What is the cost of treatment?
How much energy and wellness will this take away from the patient? It’s a cost-benefit analysis in the most extreme sense. The book and film explore patients who have chosen the most extreme treatment possible for a life-limiting illness and those who elected quality of life over quantity. There is no “right or wrong” answer.
Not if...but when.
It’s a natural human tendency not to want to ponder the “what if’s” that cause us angst. But this situation isn’t what if…it’s when. To deny that illness and age will be factors facing us all, is to leave ourselves unprepared. We don’t initiate a fire evacuation plan with our children when the Fire Department is on the way. We don’t (usually) prepare a Last Will and Testament hours before death. We don’t go out to buy a turkey on Thanksgiving morning. You get the idea.
As the awful old saying goes, nothing is certain but death and taxes. To avoid discussions about very serious and painful topics is to leave us unprepared when we need to provide an answer. As the Chinese philosopher, Confucius said, “A man who does not plan
long ahead will find trouble at his door.”
You don’t need to have the answer to every possible scenario. “Dig deep” and establish your priorities. Only then will your supporters, family, and treatment team have a road map to follow. One that YOU created.
